Dear Mentor,
Is there a way to tell ahead of time if the guy you hook up with is going to be crazy?
Well, there’s no 100% guarantee, but there are some things that you can look for.
First of all, you should be careful when you get involved with someone. You shouldn’t just get involved with someone purely on the basis of physical desire. You should want to get to know them who they are inside and out.
People who are crazy or perhaps even psycho can be deceptive. They can have a totally charming manner and seemingly want to act like a gentlemen. They know the right things to say, so you can get sucked into their charm. You have to remember, characteristics like being funny, or being good-looking don’t show you who they really are.
One of the main qualities I would suggest looking for is Honesty. Is he honest with EVERYONE? Is he honest with everyone? Does he lie to his parents? Or his employer, or even his friends? It is important for you to assess his behavior, not just what they tell you.
Integrity is important, does he have principles and morals, does he follow his own? Then, I would look at what he values. Does he value his Play Station or other tech device? Money, being outdoors, helping people, ripping people off, or mocking people? Is his humor at someone else’s expense? Can he laugh at himself and own up to his faults and failures? Or, is he always trying to project himself as a “big deal”? Does he have a job? Does he control his spending? Does his boss like him? Is he responsible?
Yes, the “free spirit” man may be a lot of fun, but at the end of the day he may be looking to you to “deliver the goods”. That’s a weight that you don’t want to carry for long!
Can he be corrected by others, or does he get defensive? How does he handle conflict? Does he have goals for the future, or is he just “taking it day by day”? Do you feel that you have to be “something” to be around him, or are you able to be yourself? What does he protect? Is it an addiction, a person, or an abject? Does he have male friends who trust him and value his help?
Is he looking for a woman to be his “magic potion” to help him get straightened out or sober? If so, that means he’s lazy and more likely to let you do all the “work” in the relationship. That gets old and is another burden you don’t want
What are his fears? Where does he find validation? These are some of the things to look at before you go out. You can save yourself a lot of heartache by doing this first!
With that, you can receive the same type of advice at CareNet Make an appointment, and let’s talk!
Sincerely, Care Net Mentor