Why Am I Considering an Abortion?
Have your parents ever killed anyone before? Unless they really are violent, you mean they will be very upset. And you are probably right. Give your parents some credit, though. They did not make it to adulthood without experiencing disappointment. Your parents have had dreams shattered and hopes dashed, yet they have survived. Abortion involves the life of their grandchild. It seems only fair to include them, even if they will initially be shocked by the news. Open communication is key. Keeping a secret—for years and years—will add unhealthy stress to your system. You don’t need more of that!
It can be very scary to have financial difficulties, but there truly are a lot of possible solutions. Social service agencies offer temporary assistance with food, medical care, and even baby sitting. Today’s schools often give aid to single mothers or a job could always come through. Church groups will sometimes help. A lot can change financially in 9 months! Another alternative would be to place the baby in a loving adoptive home. What an honorable act! Of course there can be heartache with this choice. Abortion can carry guilt and shame. Adoption can cause grief but also gives hope for a positive future—for you and your baby. Your baby has pure potential and deserves a chance at life.
Some parents suggest abortion because a pregnancy will impact their own lives in negative ways. Most really do put their children first, wanting what is best for them. Your mother may sincerely desire to take away your pain. She may believe the lie that abortion is an easy way out. Your mom may feel she had her own child too young, or at the cost of her own education. She may not wish the same to happen to you. She may have had an abortion herself and see it as the answer. But what your mother may not realize is that 94% of women who have had an abortion regret their decision. If she knew the facts about the potential physical and emotional consequences for the daughter she loves, your mother might instead choose to support you in the pregnancy. Chances are your mother is glad she did not abort you.
Many people can relate to the feeling of desperately wanting to turn back time, but there just is no way to reverse a pregnancy. Once conception has occurred, there is a baby who needs to come out—either in pieces from an abortion or whole and alive through a birth. A normal pregnancy lasts only 40 weeks, a relatively short amount of time in the whole of your life. Carrying your baby to term and then placing the baby for adoption could make what you now consider “an accident” a huge blessing for others. Choosing abortion over adoption because you know you would naturally become attached to your baby throughout the pregnancy means that you recognize there will be pain at separation. In adoption, that pain will lessen over time and be eased by knowing you made the unselfish choice to offer your baby a wonderful life. If you fear your baby won’t be brought up in a loving adoptive home, try to imagine what could be less loving than ending his or her life.
While it is true that pregnancy causes changes in your body, many women today actually celebrate those changes and stay in great shape. But, if you are honestly fearful of what being pregnant may do to you, consider also what abortion can do. The most common, immediate, and short-term complications include the following:
- excessive bleeding
- intense pain
- high fever
- incomplete removal of the baby or placenta (which can cause life-threatening infections and sterility)
- PID (pelvic inflammatory disease)
- punctured or torn uterus
The fact is that upon fertilization 23 chromosomes from each parent have joined to form a 46-chromosome, complete individual with the eye color, shoe size, and sex already determined. Only oxygen and nutrition are added in the womb. An ultrasound at the earliest stages of development will reveal the specific features of a unique person miraculously being formed (see Who is this life inside me?). And consider this: those in post-abortion support groups across the country are not there to mourn the loss of their “blobs of tissue”. They are there to mourn the loss of their babies.
Carrying this baby to term must seem unthinkable! Although our culture would give you “permission” and even encouragement to abort, please don’t jump to that as the obvious choice. Adding another violent act, abortion, to the horrible thing that already happened to you, will only complicate your healing process. You are in a very unusual circumstance (conception from rape is extremely rare) and it is understandable that you would be frantic. But don’t allow the rapist to further impact your situation by causing you to end the life of an innocent child.
Let’s stop to think of some other possibilities. Find people who help women with unintended pregnancies and get creative ideas from them. Yes, your lifestyle with your current friends will change. But you will be amazed at how supportive others can be (including pastors, counselors or staff at a local pregnancy center). And if you go to God and ask for help, He will hear your prayers. In fact God tells you (in Isaiah 43:18-19) to forget the former things and not dwell on the past. God is doing a new thing! Do you not see it? He is making a way in the desert and will give you streams in the wasteland.
Source: Ten Reasons I Want…an Abortion, Heritage House ’76, Inc. Used by permission.